Parenting 101

I hope the information/tips/ideas I share with you below are useful! Each month I will add new information and even share some funny stories!

Enjoy!

Robin Ferguson
Administrator, Teacher & PARENT (to three girls – ages 9, 6, 3)

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
~Robert Fulghum

As parents, learning how to cope and manage our child's behavior can be frustrating and challenging at times! Just when we think we have figured them out – they change on us!

At a recent conference – we learned about the ABC's of Behavior.

This is where you look at what happens before and after the unwanted behavior.

A – Antecedent – "Trigger"

B – Behavior – Child's Misbehavior

C – Consequence – Reaction/Response

The first step is to observe the child to determine what your response needs to be. The child's behavior always serves a purpose.

Decide in each case if it was the antecedent or the consequence that caused the behavior. Remember – attention is attention in a child's eyes – whether it's good or bad attention.

Changing antecedents:

• Schedule regular times during the day to give positive attention.
• Have highly preferred activities after something that is tedious. When we are done doing this (task not liked by child) – we can do this (task liked by child).
• Give choices and involvement.
• Be consistent.
• Create opportunities for children to be validated for the positive things they do.
• Warn children ahead of time of changes. Even adults don't like change – they just handle themselves differently!
• Distraction/redirection is a great tool – especially for the younger ones!
• If timing seems to be the antecedent (such as poor behavior) before dinner – try giving them a healthy snack an hour or so before. Hunger can bring out the crankies in anyone!

Consequences:

• Celebrate the things you want to see more!
• Ignore minor misbehaviors. "Stick to your guns without shooting yourself in the foot"
• Use Natural consequences if at all possible.
• Be consistent!!!!!
• Use minimal words when disciplining – i.e. don't talk the situation to death. Make it simple.
• Don't give too many warnings and don't make threats you can't keep! Kids catch on quick.

TIP: Ensure that your child's basic needs are being met: healthy food, adequate sleep and a nurturing/positive environment. When these factors are neglected, poor behavior can be the result.