Parenting 101
I hope the information/tips/ideas I share with you below are useful! Each month I will add new information and even share some funny stories!
Enjoy!
Robin Ferguson
Administrator, Teacher & PARENT (to three girls – ages 9, 6, 3)
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
~Robert Fulghum
As parents, learning how to cope and manage our child’s behavior can be frustrating and challenging at times! Just when we think we have figured them out – they change on us!
At a recent conference – we learned about the ABC’s of Behavior.
This is where you look at what happens before and after the unwanted behavior.
A – Antecedent – “Trigger”
B – Behavior – Child’s Misbehavior
C – Consequence – Reaction/Response
The first step is to observe the child to determine what your response needs to be. The child’s behavior always serves a purpose.
Decide in each case if it was the antecedent or the consequence that caused the behavior. Remember – attention is attention in a child’s eyes – whether it’s good or bad attention.
Changing antecedents:
Schedule regular times during the day to give positive attention.
Have highly preferred activities after something that is tedious. When we are done doing this (task not liked by child) – we can do this (task liked by child).
Give choices and involvement.
Be consistent.
Create opportunities for children to be validated for the positive things they do.
Warn children ahead of time of changes. Even adults don’t like change – they just handle themselves differently!
Distraction/redirection is a great tool – especially for the younger ones!
If timing seems to be the antecedent (such as poor behavior) before dinner – try giving them a healthy snack an hour or so before. Hunger can bring out the crankies in anyone!
Consequences:
Celebrate the things you want to see more!
Ignore minor misbehaviors. “Stick to your guns without shooting yourself in the foot”
Use Natural consequences if at all possible.
Be consistent!!!!!
Use minimal words when disciplining – i.e. don’t talk the situation to death. Make it simple.
Don’t give too many warnings and don’t make threats you can’t keep! Kids catch on quick.
TIP: Ensure that your child’s basic needs are being met: healthy food, adequate sleep and a nurturing/positive environment. When these factors are neglected, poor behavior can be the result.
